We’re currently in the second week of January, how are we feeling? I’ve just recently come back from holiday with my husband. We were fortunate enough to travel to La Paz, Mexico for 10 days. It was beautiful! But I found myself plagued with this overwhelming sense of “OH FUCK! I have to get into a bathing suit. “
I’ll be honest ever since I was a child I can remember having a poor body image. I was always the “bigger” gal, meaning, not big at all just overly developed at a young age. Some might call that a blessing, to me it was a curse. Anyhoo… You can’t go to the Baja without taking in and enjoying the beautiful beaches, which means… Dun Dun Dun… Bathing suit. My perception of my body is atrocious, I will avoid the mirror at all costs while donning the infamous bathing suit.
But, it got me thinking… “Fuck Kylie” you gotta love yourself for who you are and not what you think you see in the mirror. So with that, I’m sharing some practical tips on how to navigate those difficult body image days.
Whatever The Struggle
There may be a few different reasons why you’re struggling with your body image; maybe your body is changing as you become a new mother, maybe you’re going through hormonal changes that have caused you to lose or gain weight, or maybe you’re in a period of grief and negative thoughts about your body are coming to the surface. Whatever the reason, this blog post is for you.
I’ve been there, I’ve experienced debilitating body image thoughts that have prevented me from doing so many things in my life, including my most recent holiday. Let’s put the shame aside and move toward healthier, more productive ways to love the skin we’re in.
Scheduling In Self-Care
I’ve noticed in myself and others, that negative body image days happen when self-care has left the building.
For example, maybe you had a deadline at work that caused you to spend more time on the computer, eat food that didn’t feel nourishing, not prioritize sleep, or lack the time to get outside and breath and move. When all this adds up, it can leave us feeling poorly. And when we feel poorly, it’s usually reflected in the way we view our bodies.
Allowing space for self-care is a game changer. If we reverse engineer things and allow ourselves to get back on a sleep schedule, create space for movement, nourish our bodies with fueling foods. I can almost guarantee you that your body image will improve.
To get back on track, I’d recommend getting yourself to a grocery store, filling your basket with fresh, flavorful, wholesome foods and start to incorporate them into your daily meals. Get outside and go for a 20 minute walk, breathe in the fresh air; research shows that movement can improve mood, combat stress, and help you feel better about yourself. Just doing these little things will make a big improvement on how you feel about your body.
Wear The Clothes, Don’t Let Them Wear You
Wearing clothing that doesn’t fit can be extremely triggering. But it’s important to remember that your body is meant to change throughout the many courses of your life.
Our bodies are constantly evolving; when a baby grows into a toddler, and a toddler grows into a child, we don’t shame them for that. We just accept that the changing body is part of evolving. Yet when somebody becomes an adult and they stop growing in height, we expect that the rest of the body would stay as it was, as a 19 year old. That’s unrealistic!
I would recommend avoiding clothing that used to fit you, or that will one day fit you, once you lose weight. Instead wear clothing that fits your body now! Remember, clothing is meant to fit your body, not the other way around.
Get a couple of items that you’ll feel great in – I promise you’ll feel better.
As for the other items, donate, sell or hand down (there is always someone in need – BONUS – you’ll feel better for helping others out).
Put Away The Scale
How often have you stepped on the scale and felt triggered?
The number on the scale is one of the biggest things to throw off women in regards to how they feel in their body.
The thing is, the scale provides an external number that weighs the mass of our fat, muscle, hair and bones. It cannot tell you whether or not you’re healthy, nor can it tell you if you are engaged in a healthy relationship with food. Or if you’ve been in a period of grief, or if you’re carrying a baby, it’s just measuring the mass of your body and has no idea what else is going on in your life.
The problem with the scale is that we look at the number – which is external to us. We fall into the habit of using it to guide our choices around food and exercise. This then pulls us away from our internal cues.
I recommended you put the scale away for a month and tune into the messages your body is giving. Set aside 30 minutes and scan your body rather than weighing it – you’ll thank yourself in the end.
Curate Your Social Media Feed
On those difficult body image days, it can be difficult to fall into the self-comparison trap. Especially after mindlessly scrolling through social media.
Remember that you are the curator of your feed, and you get to decide what you see. Be ruthless about who you follow; follow accounts that help you feel good, and unfollow accounts that don’t! Keep curating your feed based on what you need.
A few of my faves, Cydney , Sarah Nicole and Alicia Mccarvell
If you want to go a step further, consider taking a break from social media altogether.
Delete the apps off your phone (you can re-download them later). When you’re highly triggered, it’s important to reduce inflammation caused by stress and screen time.
Identify Body Image Triggers
It’s important to bring mindfulness to what is throwing us off.
Some of the most common body image triggers are:
- People seeing pictures of themselves
- The scale (you’re going to toss it, remember?)
- Doctor’s appointments, (if you’re asked to be weighed know that you can tell your doctor that you’re trying to work on a healthy relationship with your body and ask them to not tell you the number)
- And trying to fit into clothing that doesn’t fit.
Knowing the things that trigger you can allow you to set yourself up for success. I’m going to take you back to that 30 minute body scan meditation. Again, you’ll thank yourself in the end.
Set Boundaries Around Body Talk
A lot of people have fallen into patterns where the body (our’s, our friends, or our family members) is a hot topic of conversation
Get clear about how often you talk about the body, and feel free to set boundaries with people about what you’re comfortable talking about, and what you’re not.
For example, if someone says “You look like you’ve lost weight” you can respond by saying, “I appreciate you commenting, but I’m actually not comfortable talking about my body” and change the subject. This may be uncomfortable at first, since many of us are so used to people-pleasing, but we have to be brave in setting boundaries.
Here is a book I found helpful along my journey
Recognize That Your Value Extends Far Beyond Your Body Image
If you struggle with your body image, it’s not your fault; you were raised in a society that values looks above all-else — and that tells us that we lose value as we age.
But your value extends far beyond your body image. In fact, you are more than your body, and you are valued and worthy no matter what you look like.
To remember your value, try spending more time engaging in activities that you feel passionate about. Better yet, look for ways that you can serve and support others to feel more connected.
Start Loving What You See
The last thing I want to remind you of is that you can’t hate yourself into loving your body; learning to love your body starts from within.
We will likely experience difficult days over and over again as we navigate different chapters of our lives. This isn’t easy work, but it’s important work. And when we do this work, we impact those around us and increase our capacity to change the world. Let’s keep reminding each other that we are more than our bodies until the dialogue begins to change.
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